Barnes McBride

Barnes McBride
Pronouns	he/him
Occupation	Ranked Coach

"How about you go Rated E for everyone!, 'dude.'" —Barnes McBride to the Sports King

Barnes McBride is an NPC in Beastieball. He is the coach of the Crimson Racers, the #3 ranked team in the League, and the highest-paid sports franchise in the world.

Appearance

Barnes McBride wears a red racer’s jumpsuit with black accents, a matching hat, and shades, as well as a towel around his neck. His suit and hat are adorned with many logos, likely those of his sponsors, as well as a crown emblem on his waist. He has spiky black hair and a light stubble.

Personality

McBride is impatient and disrespectful, even to the Sports King. He frequently uses ”colorful” language that has to be censored by the game.

Story

First Encounter

McBride is first introduced to the player by the Sports King after their third Ranked victory. He positions McBride as their rival, much to the latter’s annoyance, as he is eager to get to a sponsorship engagement he has soon. The King explains that, as the #3 ranked player, he’s “good, but not TOO good,” which annoys McBride further.

During the player’s match with McBride, the King changes the rules to completely randomize all damage. Afterwards, while the King seems enthusiastic about this, McBride says that it’s terrible, basically functioning as a glorified slot machine. He then leaves for his sponsored engagement.

The player can also spectate a match between Barnes McBride and Valerie Stride with Riley. McBride tells Stride that everyone’s already tired of her, and that he’s excited to see her face after he’s the one to finally beat her. Stride is unaffected by his trash talk, however, and swiftly defeats him.

Second Encounter

After the player's fifth Ranked victory, the Sports King pits the player and McBride against each other again. This time, the King changes the rules to "Tennis Mode," which changes all receives to be easy receives and only allows one action per turn. McBride is equally unenthusiastic about this new ruleset, but refrains from using his usual vulgar language, as he is attempting to clean up his image for his sponsors.

In the locker room, McBride talks to the player. He says he knows they think he’s just an idiot with a lot of money, but he says that they’d be sorely mistaken.

Final Encounter

SPOILER WARNING This section contains endgame spoilers for Beastieball! Consider yourself warned.

McBride eventually faces the player in a true match during the Crown Series, where he reveals that the Sports King told him to throw this match and let the player win; he angrily refuses, stating that he is sick of both the Sports King and the player, and pledges to defeat them. After the player's victory, he becomes completely unglued and fires off a deluge of exceptionally colorful remarks and very not E for everyone words and especially problematic statements before leaving the stadium.

Dialogue

Main article: Barnes McBride/Dialogue